How many of us have honestly asked ourselves if we are truly coming from love or fear? Are we secretly afraid that we are worthless junk? That we are nothing without our identities, academic qualifications, abilities, achievements and knowledge? That if we cannot justify our existence to others, then we do not deserve to exist?
How many of us secretly battle for our salvation – that we may be redeemed of our worthlessness through autism acceptance? How much of our resentment is about people denying our existence? How many of our advocacy is demanding that others grant us the value that we seek? How much of our battle for justice is our battle against the darkness within us that tries to consume our soul? How much of autism awareness is about emotional awareness of how thoroughly unhappy and frustrated we are with Humanity.
What if we are already saved? What if we are already worthy? What if we are already accepted? What if each of us is an eternal flame that can never be extinguished by darkness?
Who are we without our story? Who are we without our fears and resentment? Who are we without our struggles? Who are we without our abilities and achievements? Who are we without our knowledge and qualifications? Who are we without autism?
Autism simply is; it is nothing to be proud of, nothing to be ashamed of. The world simply is; there is nothing to be hated, nothing to be praised. We simply are; there is nothing to be condemned, nothing to be celebrated. Only when we leave behind our delusional fake stories and awaken to the real world, can we truly find freedom and forgiveness. Only when we let go of our self-imposed limitations can we release our full potential.
I believe that the autistic community needs “Autistics For Forgiveness” – a campaign of love and peace to create opportunities for autistics to forgive those who have mistreated them, and to ask for forgiveness from those who they have inadvertently offended.
Many autistics are upset about people telling them how they should behave, think and feel. They are upset that everyone eagerly intrudes on them and their world. They are upset that they have been rejected, bullied and trodden upon by the Neurotypicals. Years of pain and endurance has manifested in many angry words like “don’t you dare pity us” and “don’t you dare make us normal“.
These angry people then formed angry organisations to spread their message. Yet anger only makes more anger, bringing people further from each other. No one has made peace with anger. No one has brought acceptance with quarrels disguised as debates.
I have no right to tell autistics not to be angry because I was one myself. I just hope that when some autistics have enough of being angry, they will find this article and read it. And perhaps they will forgive the Neurotypicals after they experience the other side of the story.
We as autistics may not know that the way we behave makes great demands for the Neurotypicals to accommodate to us, just as the way the Neurotypicals behave imposes great demands on us. When we realise these, it may well be our turn to seek the forgiveness of Neurotypicals.
One of the greatest revelations after reconnecting with my instincts is that I can perceive autistics from the “other side”. This made it obvious to me why I was rejected socially and why I was treated so badly in the past. If I have not had the experience of autism, I would probably have done the same to someone like myself. With this in mind, I can no longer condemn their behaviour and had no choice but to forgive them.
Sometimes we forgot that we are all human. We forgot who we really are and our relationship with others. We forgot about why we are here on this “Earth-walk”. We forgot that everything we see, hear, touch, taste, smell or sense is a gift to us. It is only when we think the gift is something else that it shows up that way.
Therefore, judge not, and neither condemn: We become those who we judge, we turn into those who we condemn. We only need to know that the world is a gift to us, and we are a gift to the world. Within this understanding lies our peace and forgiveness.