Primitive Lifeforms

Why do we have to eat? Why can’t we just plug our fingers into the wall socket and charge ourselves, photosynthesize under the sun, or have a nuclear reactor in our stomach? The process of food planning and preparation is a waste of time, energy and effort. Eating is a waste of time, going to the toilet is disgusting, cooking is troublesome and growing/rearing food is a disaster in terms of efficiency.

Why do we have to talk? Why can’t other people just read our thoughts directly? Having to breathe out carefully, move our tongues and coordinate our lips just makes it even more difficult to master this foreign body. The Earthlings strangely think it is very easy, and that there is something defective with those who can’t do these complicated stunts routinely.

Why do we have to have fun? What is ‘fun’ exactly? How is swaying bodies to rhythmic sound waves fun? How is activating the fight or flight response in simulated dangerous situations fun? How is eating food with lots of carbohydrates, salt, oil or artificial sensory stimulants considered fun? How is intentionally violating rules and regulations considered fun? How is wasting time waiting for engaging in meaningless activities called sports considered fun? How is engaging in lip-to-lip salivary contact be considered fun?

These Earth habits are strange enough, but the strangest thing happens when you ask the Earthlings those questions. They engage in unpredictable, irrational behavior with the goal of avoiding answering the questions. Perhaps they wish to keep their own customs a secret to outsiders.

Those Earthling humans are primitive life forms who behave irrationally and harm their own kind. Knowing their history of warfare and needless suffering, it is easy to conclude that they are the scum of the universe. Why have I been born as one of them? There must have been a mistake. I want out of this miserable place right away!