Autism Dating & Intimacy Help in Singapore
As I was wrapping up my talk at Pathlight School in 2013, a young (non-autistic) lady asked me if I have a girlfriend. This is a question that I was asked often. However, this time the twist was that she has a boyfriend with Aspergers’ Syndrome.
We discussed a few things that would create barriers in the relationship – rigidity about when to finish the date, body rigidity, a dislike for hugs, not being able to sense the “mood” for kissing and a lack of “passion”.
After that discussion, I realized that there is an increasing need in Singapore for helping people with autism create and maintain intimate romantic relationships.
For years, I have given talks to promote autism awareness but did not provide any direct help to people with autism. This was not unexpected, since I do not have any qualifications as a therapist, psychiatrist or counselor. My interest has also changed from promoting autism awareness to experiencing life in mainstream society. This time, however, I can contribute my personal experiences by becoming a facilitator to help people with autism develop intimacy.
The topics I can cover include:
- Basic rules of a relationship
- Understanding the implications and costs of having a romantic relationship
- Confronting inner fears of intimacy
- How to tell if the other party is interested to date you (for singles)
- Performing acts of intimacy
- Maintaining intimacy and closeness
- How to dance wildly :)
Do note that I am not providing professional services, but just informal facilitation as a service to the autism community. While I am not an expert in social skills, I am familiar with the challenges of a romantic relationship and how to overcome them from the perspective of a person with Asperger’s.
I expect to see:
- Your romantic partner (if you already have a steady relationship)
- A volunteer of the opposite sex who is willing for you to practice simple intimate acts like holding hands, full-body hugs and cheek kisses (if you are single)
- At least one friend, parent or guardian who can provide additional support and supervision from the non-autistic perspective
- A venue with sufficient privacy
- Your identity card (for proof that you and your partner/volunteer are above age 18)
Payment is on a donation basis. Please email me at if you are interested.